It all happened quite by surprise one day. I was with a friend at a leadership celebration where I was being honored for my achievement. She introduced me with kindness and grace and spoke of my unending drive and love. She said so very many wonderful things about me. I even blushed. But then it happened, I was titled . . . Single Mom.
Though I have been a single mom for quite some time, it was the first time it was listed in the description of who I am as a person. It became a defining element in who all these new people would see me as. And frankly it had never happened before, so I didn't know how to feel about it.
I remember wondering what it meant . . . to be defined as a single mom.
Did it make me lesser? A failure? It felt like those two simple words came with a stigma. Should I be afraid of those words? I didn't quite know what to think about it, because as I said it, was my first time with my new label I sat in wonder.
I had to think about it for a while, let it soak in. I watched my single friends, my single mom friends, my married friends, my married mom friends . . . all the wonderful varieties of my friends . . . I didn't feel any different than them. We were all tired for different reasons. Work, life, family, babies, toddlers, teenagers, sporting events, crafts, teams, you name it. We were all happy, because of family, friends, hobbies, joy, children, loved ones and pets. Some live in apartments, condos and houses, some with large families and some alone. But we all had two common factor, we were tired and happy.
And lets not forget my other title, divorced.
I'm a divorced, single, mom. Hmmm. Sounds pretty sad doesn't it? But let me reassure you. I've never been more happy than I am today. I have the most gracious and fun little boy who loves to play with me, he gives the best snuggles too, we have two wild dogs, one fluffy cat and I have the most loving and amazing boyfriend. I own a beautiful home and have kind neighbors. My family is quirky and delightful. My friends are supportive, talented and funny. I design pretty things, play with my son, write books, draw pictures and eat well. I'm a trained birth doula and happy little gardner. I am surrounded with love and joy and peace.
I am not defined by simple words. I am pieces of those I love that surround me, I am pieces of my family before me, I am uniquely me and I am happy. So no matter what title society wants to label you with, don't let it define you. Always be humble, have courage and be kind.